Why Ever Part of My Body Hates Me

Besides standing in one spot playing a bass guitar all day...

Have you ever crawled into bed ready to listen to your favorite calming song and drift quietly off to sleep but then realized that your iPod is dead, and must have somehow played for at least 6 hours to have drained the remaining battery...

Have you ever also discovered that your wall charger was not working and had to plug your iPod instead into your mom's car.

Was it 18 degrees F outside?

Are you also too lazy to put clothes on to accomplish this ridiculous task?

So I climbed out of bed and ran outside in my boxers only to find that my mom's car was LOCKED, so I had to run all the way back inside and get the key then run back outside and sit on the freezing (literally) leather seat and plug my iPod in.

I wouldn't recommend ever doing this, but at the same time- I think everyone should get the oppotunity at least once in their life.

Swing Set

It's back and forth, back and forth.

I used to be able to swing for hours.

My cousin broke his ankle jumping out of a swing.

I used to pretend I was going out of the atmosphere. But no, I was never so retarded as to think that I could actually swing OVER the bar. It was just never practical to me. I remember trying to see who could spit the farthest . You swing as high as you can and the *twhoo* and once we hit the person on duty (ha! I said duty) and she was looking around like "holy crap! Is it RAINING?" Good times. Then we tried doing backflips out of the swings which was awesome.

I feel like swinging now.

Glory

Have you ever wondered if receiving the light of Christ in your countenance is in fact a literal saying? They say that you can see it in the eyes of those who have received it. Line upon line, precept upon precept, we receive knowledge and learn and grow. I think that many people believe that when we die, we have the veil removed and remember everything that we forgot. But does that mean that we suddenly know everything? Why then, is it said that whatever knowledge we obtain in this life, so much will be our advantage in the next?

We have tendencies, weaknessess, and flaws that we are seemingly born with. We learn that this is because in the pre-existence, we had an identity. The same weaknessess we have now and the same strenghts; the same likes and dislikes; we were the same person before we came as we are now. We shouldn't be discouraged when we have weaknessess; rather, we should be overjoyed with the knowledge that we overcame them before we came here.

It is said that we fought Lucifer in the great war in heaven. We stood by God and fought for him. His elect not only fought, but fought valiantly. Well, there was no physical fighting in heaven, so how did we fight? It is the same spiritual fight that we are fighting right now. We can do it now, because we already did it before; maybe not at the same magnitude, because we didn't have a body. We couldn't feel the same things that we can now. It's more powerful now; the emotion, the pain, the joy.

Men are that they might have joy.

We beheld God and his glory and we wanted to be like him. How do we achieve what God has? How do we become a God, a creator of worlds?

We learn. Line upon line...

So that brings us back to the glory. When we are resurrected, we will immediately have a glorified body right? I don't believe that is true. Don't quote me, but as far as I know, we will have the same body that we had, except for it will be immortal. We will never die again. To achieve a celestial, glorified body, we have to learn. As we understand and learn more truth, our bodies will become more and more glorified. I dunno if that is correct. I think it might be.

God is truth. The light. As we receive more light, our bodies literally shine with the glory that is in us.

Hmm... anyway, that's what was on my mind.

What We Want

"I imagine you to be a girl, fifteen (or sixteen or seventeen) years old, sometimes frightened, always brave. I imagine you to be unaware of your beauty, which makes you indefinitely beautiful; unaware of your power, which makes you dangerously powerful. I have had many masters in my life, but you are the only master I could follow until I die."



An interesting quote that I found in a book a few years ago. This picture reminded me of it. It also reminded me of another quote from the book.

"[He] didn’t know what he wanted, but he did know what he didn’t want. What he didn’t want was any of the girls at school. He had lots of friends who were girls. He liked them. Nice girls. Just not for him."

It's really true though. I've seen what there is to offer and yes, I've fallen for some girls that I thought were amazing. Good girls, yes, but not for me. I thought they were, but I learned otherwise. I have met a few girls I thought were for me, and maybe one is, or not. There was one girl who I thought was just for me. Mean, bossy, blunt- but I needed that at the time. Though, it was not healthy I think. Plus we ran out of things to do because she was very hard to please and I ran out of things to do to please her so we ended up just driving around and kissing and then it was over. Not a healthy relationship at all, and now I'm left to wonder if we ever even liked each other, or if we ever got along at all. But love will do that to you.

I'm waiting to meet a girl that will look beneath that surface, even though the surface isn't half bad. I'm waiting for a girl who I can talk to about everything; all the deep and shallow topics in my head. I'm waiting for a girl who thinks I'm funny and recognizes that I'm an idiot and loves me for it. It's a part of who we are, we aren't changing.

I'm waiting for a girl who loves Ender and Bean as much as I do.

I'm waiting for a girl who will look at my iPod and say "Oh my gosh I love ALL of these bands!"

And she would also hate country.

Country sucks.

Suspension

Not like the bridge...

So apparently not writing the District Writing Assessment is considered DEFIANCE and grounds for suspension. I told him I could write a crappy paper for him if it was that important to him.

He didn't go for it.

So I was going to go to receiving for the day but then my mom told me that I would be staying home and cleaning instead. I spent 4 hours cleaning the kitchen and no, it's still not done. I guess that just shows how disgusting my family lives. I want to move so bad. Everytime I suggest something to keep the house clean I get shut down and told that I'm not the parent so I'm not supposed to worry about it; though, I AM supposed to clean all of it, right? Sigh...

Trash

I am the only person in my house that takes out the trash. It.s true. I am the only person that does anything sanitation related actually.

RUTH

This is Ruth



Once upon a time we were friends.
There were complications
And I was whiny
And moany
And depressing

We used to chat it up on MSN all night and get in arguments because I couldn't get over myself.

Ruth is Amazing
She's definitely original
I fell for her once but I was too scared to tell her
Instead, we sat and talked at the North Chapel while Devon and Jordann walked around awkwardly.
I tried to play my guitar for her and she said nice things about it. Even though I sucked, I was still one of the few that attempted guitar in this town, before everyone started doing it. I ALMOST told her how I felt that night, but I didn't
I almost told her on MSN once also
I think she almost told me once too
But she didn't
And I didn't
And then it was gone because she got into patio or something and I got into a band
She decided that she only needed 3 friends (actually 2 because Jess wasn't here yet)

Or something like that lol

Who knows
Those are my deepest darkest secrets about her.

Ruth is a brilliant photography and has an excellent taste in music, usually.
We used to watch movies all the time
I used to wonder about her a lot.
She used to be a complete mystery to me.
Actually she still is, but differently

Derek and I used to call her Rufus
I also used to call her Ruth Ann Potter
Because she loved Harry Potter

I'll never figure out how she gets her Myspace to look so nice

Even though the past is gone and there doesn't seem to be much interest in the future, it's still fun to remember the memories we've had and laugh, whether she thought it was funny or not

I love you Ruth!

ERIC

This is ERIC


We met many years ago around like 1st or second grade. I wasn't his friend but I was there the day that he contracted the Diabetes STD.

SAND TRANSMITTED DEUSCHLOMPASCHWULL

I know what you were thinking...

He's probably the koolest guy I've ever met

He's the only one that understands ALL the deep complex thoughts that run through my head, and in fact, most of them run through his head at the exact same time. It all started with ENDERS GAME and the philosophization grew and grew.

We had a very deep conversation one night underneath a streetlight by his house and it made us really think about our lives a lot. It made us better people even though we suck at making changes.

We spent the summer after 8th grade partying hardy and pondering the mysteries of the universe. It was the best summer of my life.

Sometimes I think we sort of annoy each other by talking because we already know what is going throught the other's mind and it is usually pointless to put it into words, because sometimes words just screw things up.

Words are best saved for the hilarity that we share in our 4 year long inside jokes. It's more like inside life-stories because you would have to hang around with us for a couple years to understand what the heck we're talking about.

We feed Eric special food because he thinks that pizza and spaghetti will make him die for some reason. He even throws up and puts on a big show to put his point across. It's silly, I know, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do to be different.

Music is a second language for us.

Our main hobby is listening to music and digesting it and then regurgitating (I have no idea how to spell that word) it for others to listen and understand, but few really do.

My favorite are the nights we stay out all night and party and do stupid things.

Eric almost saved my life when I almost got eaten by a dog that almost didn't stop chasing us when I realized that the last option was to turn and face the dog like the terrified 17 year old that I was (am).

Our life is a party and I think it's really just begun.

Tanya

Meet Tanya, one of my very bestest friends in the whole wide world (Believe me it's wide, I have to drive 10 hours just to see her) She's basically one of the koolest persons you'll ever meet.
I first met Tanya 4 years ago (on the phone) after meeting (on the phone) Devon's cousin Chelsea, who is also one rad sheila, but we'll get to that some other time. I first met Tanya 4 real 2 years ago when she came down with Chelsea to a family reunion. Yay for those 4 days! I recently saw Tanya a few days ago when Devon and I went to see the two in their own town of Mountain Home, Idaho.
Tanya lives on a military base outside of Mountain Home and I almost got shot trying to visit her. She also has a brother, Tony, who is rad, and a rad sister Rachel who makes cookies. Her mom is also rad and her dad is also rad, and so are her other two sisters who I also met. What a rad family :)
Someday Tanya says she's going to let me kidnap her and then we will party hardy. She beats me at bowling and chess everytime. But it's okay cuz we make Banana Cream Pudding and Pasta and Pizza and it's amazing.
Her dog wants to eat me.
I miss Tanya very very much. We have nice shoes and hearts

They are amazing

Memories

I'm a Saminjadite
Actually, we all areIt's okay, we aren't that scary
Actually, we are just amazing
But nobody knows it.
I was standing in the mall yesterday wearing my striped jacket and my black pants with a sobe in one hand and my phone in the other and I had a thought that I needed to write on my hand so I stuck my sobe in my back pocket and for a second I just stood there thinking of all the amazing things I've got going for me and realized that there wasn't anyone within 300 miles that knew it. I was sad. But we know it, and now I'm home so there are people within 300 miles that know it. There were a few in Idaho too :)
*SIGH*.... I really miss these two
We only get to see each other every 2 years. But it's amazing when it happens, no matter how hard people try to ruin it.

My favorite is the heart Tanya drew on my shoe.
Memories fade. Mine seem like they are all from a different lifetime
R&R
Boy Scouts
Brother Krum
Math with Merket and Lacy
Freshman year
8th Grade when I thought I loved Lizz
The first time Kelly Hugged me and I thought hugs were bad
6th Grade
Zelda at Kip's House
Lagoon with Manda
Devon's Family reunion, wasn't that someting.
I still remember the first time I wanted to play guitar
I couldn't
Two years later I still couldn't
I still can't, but I try
Movies at Jorden's hous
eAnother favorite were nightgames at the North Chapel
Ruth and I sitting on a brick wall while I tried to play my mini guitar
But that was a long time ago
The night I was driving on ice before I had my license and slid off the road over the curb and got the car stuck
Thank goodness for kind neighbors
Luckily no damage was done, except for the rim of her front tire...
How many movies did we watch on Devon's couch?
Too many
Skeeter still doesn't much like me since I tried to claim her arm
Awkward
I always thought I was the crazy one, until I met Stormi, no her hair isn't RED.
That was a misconception.
King Kong is STILL the longest movie I have ever seen.
MSN used to be a GREAT place to live, also a drama starter, also a drama ender.
Speaking of ENDER, that was the best Summer ever, still.
Ender is my hero. Also is Bean.
I think for anyone to understand the way Eric and I think they would have to read those books, then hang out with us for a few years.
What a looker.
15 years old and fresh into freshman year what did I know? Nothing. Greg the Moses approaches me because I'm sitting behind El Bake's drums and he asks me to drum for him. I don't know how to drum! Well, that's what I would have said if I hadn't been absolutely determined to learn.
Fortunately I knew a little guitar by then.
Then all of a sudden BAM!
We're sitting in Dallas' basement recording My Paper World
We were so good back then. That was PURE music, honest.