Hot Rod

Rod- Kevin, did you reinforce the takeoff ramp?
Kevin- No, we didn't have time.

Frank- Never sneak up on a man who's been in a chemical fire.

Dave- You know pools are just perfect for holding water.

Rod-My safeword will be whiskey
Kevin- I'm sorry Rod, what was that?
Rod- Whiskey
Kevin-You're saying it weird
Rod-Saying what weird
Kevin- All of it
Rod- Where do you get off?
Kevin-I just don't get why you're saying it that way
Rod- Saying what what way?
Kevin- Forget it
Rod- I whill, I whill forget it.

Guy-My trailer, one of you is getting your dick hole smashed!
Reco- I'm freaking pumped! I've been drinking green tea all day!
I go to church every sunday, you gonna bring the demons outta me!
This is my hat, this is totally my hat

Rod- I'm sure you've heard that the plan to get you a new heart is going well
Frank- No
Rod-Well, it is...you can say thanks
Frank- No, I'm good
Rod-I see what you're trying to do Frank, but it's not gonna work. I'm afraid cooler heads have prevailed.
*Frank hits Rod in the face with a can*
Rod- YOU'RE THE DEVIL!
Rod's Mom- Frank, back to bed. Rod, outside.
Rod- Fine, have fun being married to SATAN!

Rod- so I thought it would be fun if we all go around and introduce ourselves. I'll go first. I'm Rod, and I like to party. Alright Dave, you're up.
Dave- Uh, hi, I'm Dave, and uh, I like to party.
Rod- Uh, actually Dave, I just said the I party, so maybe do something different.
Dave- Uh, I'm Dave and... I'm the stuntman.
Rod- Acually how about we just move on. Rico, you're up
Rico- Hi, I'm Rico, and I like to party.
Rod-Uh, Rico, what did I JUST say to Dave?
Rico- Who?
Kevin-I like to party, I'm Rod
Rod- No. You're Kevin.
Kevin- Right, Kevin. I party.
Rod- No. No, you don't. Alright, nobody parties but me.
Dave- Yes, and we party.
Rod- NO.
Rico- Yeah, just Rod
Rod- Yes.
Rico- And me.
Rod- NO! I'm the only one who parties.
Kevin- I'm pretty sure I've partied before.
Rod- No Kevin I know for a fact you don't party. You do not party.
Kevin- You're right, Dave's the party guy.
Dave- Ha ha, sweet.
Rod- Oh my gosh, shut up. Right, I'm just gonna do it myself.

After the riot
Rod- What the heeeeck? Was that because of us?
Dave- I dunno man, it started off super positive and then it just went crazy!
Rico (while carrying a stolen TV)- I know, it's disgusting how people will just take something good and just take advantage of it. There was no time to do any thing except just leave and just hope that you're not hurt.

Dave- Hey Rod, it's Dave, from the crew.
Rod- Hey Dave
Dave- Hey yeah I just wanted to call, see how you were doing, maybe you'd wanna hang out, maybe drive me to the hospital
Rod- Is everything okay?
Dave- Yeah, yeah... No. But if you wanna just stop by, I'm sure it's just precautionary.
Rod- Alright gimme a minute.
Dave- Ah, Rod thank you sooooo much.......Hey man, thanks for doing this for me, this is seriously one of the top ten nicest things anybody has ever done for me.
Rod- No problem... Ahhhhhh!!!
Dave-Ahhhhh!!
Rod-Dave, what happened to your eye?
Dave- Ah, it's totally serendipitous man. See, I got off work early, and my friend was like, "I've got this acid, but I can't do it", so I was like, "I'll do it". And by the time I got on my banana board, I was, trippin' balls pretty hard. So I decided to get on my bench grinder, and this piece of metal flew up and hit me right in the eye, which brings us to now.

Dave-Hospital?
Rod-Trash Can.
Dave-See ya.

Dave- Hey why's Rod kissin' his sister?
Kevin- Oh Denise isn't his sister
Dave-She's not? Oh, that totally shatters my entire universe.